WATER CLOSET-GATE
Argentina it's time to
cry for you. The terrible lightness of being of endemically corrupt politicians
By Sir Charlattam
If there is one thing
you learn quickly once you are mixed up among Argentines it is their great
smugness and conceit, a quality we Brits do not enjoy because of our character,
origin and long history of doing and undoing at the expense of others. Yes, we
repress our emotions, it is true, but we are not the type to show off.
I must be honest as
perhaps I am unfairly going against all Argentines and reducing this epithet to
the media and "opinion formers" who have their main media companies
in the city of Buenos Aires. The sudden emergence of a scandal exposing
political circles and showbiz in that not at all unknown to the MI5 boys and
MI6 dogs world of dirty tricks, has been christened by some of these media
slickers as "Water Gate", with a whiff of equating biscuits with dry crumbs.
In the state that
Argentina is in and the quality of those who govern it and (excuse my
sincerity), that of its opinion formers (splendid arse lickers of the British
government), it is much more descriptive and just that it is a case of
"Water Closet" as everyone with this discovery can go straight down
the atmospheric drainpipe if justice delves into the matter.
Here again, let me also
return to sarcasm, since the Argentinean justice system is the toilet paper of
the governmental powers that temporarily pass through the Casa Rosada, so let's
not even touch the subject.
When I opened my
Newsletter and saw the first news about the dismantling of a network of
"inorganics" who had been spying on all the famous politicians,
journalists and artists of this country, I said to myself "Is that news
over there?" Perhaps I was not grasping the dimension of the news, so I
got in touch with my best source in Buenos Aires, who (believe it or not) is
still inside one of the government buildings, collecting his salary and without
having been discovered yet.
As soon as we began our
chat, my source pointed out that "espionage matters here are not about
counterintelligence, trafficking in top secret information, weapons, special
operations or any of that sort; it's all about the beds and asses of the
targets". I certainly couldn't contain my laughter. And I'm not saying
that this isn't done over here by the MI5 yokels, who even have their contacts
in the underworld with whom they traffic all sorts of drugs, sophisticated prostitutes
and weapons to finance safe houses for "friendly" terrorists who hate
our enemies. But Argentine colleagues are way below the basics.
Perhaps there is
nothing to care for in that country. In reality everything that makes for a
real state there no longer exists. The very twisted case of the murder of
prosecutor Alberto Nisman in February 2015 could not have happened without the
AFI looking the other way. It is incredible how the media on both sides have
tried to establish theories aimed more at covering up than solving the matter.
As far as security and
defence is concerned, we already know. Their weapons are so old and obsolete
that it is to the advantage of the Foreign Office to keep using them to blow
their own heads off. Their secrets What? There are no plans or ideas about any
development that threatens anyone. On top of that, not a single movement of
their "boy scouts" that the military intelligence from Mount Pleasant
or our listening stations in Punta Arenas, Chile have not noticed and if they
have kept any in a drawer in their Casa Rosada, we have surely already bought
some third rate employee for a few pounds a month to give them into the hands
of some courier who goes straight to the embassy.
Besides, I haven't had
anything new for breakfast about something similar since what happened with the
"ARA San Juan". It was not necessary then for the Royal Navy's
military intelligence or even MI6 to lift a finger to get the Argentine
government to cover the ass of the Task Force operating at the time alongside
the Americans and Chileans. The General Staff in Whitehall had its arse in two
hands as they were not sure they could handle the situation, especially when
the Russians started to show up.
As was to be expected
in the Foreign Office, Mauricio Macri and his people responded unceremoniously
and would take the risks to keep everything under cover. His sympathies and
contacts with the CIA and Mossad made him reliable. He acted accordingly and to
calm anxiety in London he got down to work. He ordered the phones of all the
crew's relatives to be illegally infected and this was thanks to technology
provided and of course in a very limited way by Israeli advisers.
Unsurprisingly,
"justice" covered it all up and freed Macri and his people from any
further investigation.
The so-called AFI is
nothing more than a large office building with people who, in addition to
enjoying a special category, are dedicated to purely bureaucratic and
bureaucratic nonsense and remuneration under unknown black financing, it is a
gruyere cheese that serves the interests of other foreign agencies more than
Argentine strategic interests. I knew
that many years before when the Falklands war ended, we were able to access
several pieces of information thanks - not counting the assets of the MI6
payroll operating inside Congress - to the assets that SIDE had among the
journalists of the main newspapers of the capital and lumpen that they had at
hand.
So now, as if by magic,
a network of "inorganic" (unofficial agents) is being dismantled, and
along with the names of its main components, important figures in the nation's
intelligence area appear to be involved, who now do not know how to shake off
their responsibilities. This kind of 'intelligence' is typical of the MI5 boys,
always ready for extortion and blackmail for some special operation
commissioned by some bigwig in parliament or even the royal house.
But for Argentines this
seems a matter of transcendence, as if it were a strategic issue for the
country when in reality it is just another of those “dirty tricks operations”
that the government uses in our neighbourhood to keep unruly subjects in check
in places like Ireland or some troublesome London jumper. I'm not saying that
MI6 doesn't do this crap, just that it runs it for very sophisticated purposes
almost always linked to high diplomacy and on certain subjects.
I may have said it
before, but saying it again won't do anything. Argentina lacks the intelligence
for its state. If someone would dare to tell me that it is not visible because
it is focused on foreign intelligence, I would ask myself: Really, where have
all these visionaries been all these forty years?
I have bad news for you
visionaries, AI can already do the work of an entire bureaucratic plant. The
only thing it doesn't do is take cocaine and spend public money on parties and
whores.
The lack of it is one
of the determining factors in the deterioration of the other powers. Their
system is rotten and now even the politicians can't get rid of it. Of course,
this network of low-life pimps of "kirchnerismo" will be unravelled
and will bring down every last one of those responsible for it.
This whole bunch of
amateurs believed that "intelligence" was a private toy without
taking it with the seriousness it always has and always will have. If there had
actually been a political leadership in place to protect national interests,
SIDE would have been able to detect and warn about the two gigantic explosions
that took place in 1992 and 1994.
